i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just googled if crying burns calories
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
