Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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