the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
