I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So much Jack, so little girl.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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