She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
