and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
