Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
