no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
