So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
