Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
