so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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