i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
