He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I deserve this hangover.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize