Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
