You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
