i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize