So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
