I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
