I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
