is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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