You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
