She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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