I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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