I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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