at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
They have beer where we have blood.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
