you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
