Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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