guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
