I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize