Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
