3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
