i just had sex bonerless
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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