dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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