dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
