Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
