Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
