I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
