That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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