You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
