Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
