I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
