I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
