Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
