oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
