I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
