I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
