There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize