I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize