I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
