I must be too annoying 4 u.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
