Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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