areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The uberlube is also flammable
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
