so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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