Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
