Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
